When did I become a Deutschfreundlichen: Chapter One

Chapter One: how to blow your nose

For my facebook friends you may have remembered my making note of this line of though a few weeks back. resulting from the dialog a wonderful word:  deutschfreundlichen came into the conversation by my dear and brilliant friend Leo Tolkin who is a master cellist and viola degamba player(I think he prefers the later) and has a remarkable appreciation for the feuges of Bach and an equally remarkable abillity to communicate their exquisitet composition with words and robust hand movements.


The subject came a gain to a head, my head, as a result of a new hair cut and a head cold that I am presently suffering with, (the cold, that is , not the hair cut).


while looking in the mirror(which I will neither confirm nor deny that I do often) and blowing my nose, my father, who tends to walk in on me in the bathroom often to have conversation, cautioned that I blow my nose properly.


My thought immediately rushed back some 20 something years to when i first was taught how to blow my nose Properly and why...plugging one nostril at a time pressing with the thumb and index finger, for left and right respectively all while holding a tissue or hanky  in  place. the alternating action exercised so as to not cause damage to the ears. the man who originally taught me this was not my father but rather one of his adversaries a man who had wished to have married my mother, my German neighbor.


As I traced my steps through the 70's decor of his apartment and down the hall to where I stood looking at the top of my head in the mirror standing on my tippy toes to see myself blowing into the tissue...I remembered the next lesson in personal hygiene...how to comb the hair..WHAM!.. 

 At this point I realised that when I have hair and cut it my self I often fashion it it very similar to how he showed me at 6 of 7 years of age, 

( I have evolved to exhibit a little more flair than his basic doo...but the foundational influence is undeniable, especially the too the side and back combing motion with his military issued aluminum comb)



He had wished to be my dad and I was happy to oblige him. He let me run around his apartment with his unloaded pugnosed revolver as well as a 9mm clicking away at imaginary evil doers.

Once having gotten a good deal on lots of deliciously ripe mangoes, bought a deep freeze so that he could cut them up and freeze them they supplied a years worth of daily mango milkshakes I would get after school, he taught me how to savor german potato pancakes with a dash of powdered sugar and a side of apple sauce, and I could always count on a bug bowl of marble fudge ice cream and a tour of his Mercedes bus camper conversion and where he had a safe with guns under the mattress this was the very same bus that Sulochan an early ex-poser of bogus guru antics was shot in the head in (for reference read monkey on a stick...on second though probably better not too) I non the less thought it was cool to be in a vehical that was once a murder scene.... its like being in a movie!


Everything went south with him when one day I was practicing too  be an ungrateful teenager, shared with my friend ,while enjoying a big bowl of his endless supply of Marble fudge ice cream (the new steady resident of the deep freeze), that I don't real like him and that I am actually just using him because he gives me stuff and takes me places, this statement , a direct quote from my older sister, I actually didn't  really feel. He over heard my "trying it out statement" and taking it seriously red faced with anger and undoubted heartache of betrayal banished me from ever coming again to his home. 


I was fearful and devastated at the outcome of my false words, He held grudges like no man I have ever met and it took a decade or more until he was willing to speak to me. not having his "boy scout leader" oversight and adventures I joined the ranks of my friends and we banded together as the local gang of trouble makes. No more camping trips or barge rides in the canals or bike rides to the beach, when we got ourselves in a pickle he was no longer there to save the day.


2)      Jumping a head a proportionate lifetime 


NOTE: My computer was having problems while I was writing this post and while I had thought it saved the rest of the text the fact is that it had not. There was a theme that I was developing all based around German influences in my life. In my own opinion as the author the other 3 chapters that were lost, were much more interesting than the one that remained, in fact this story wasn't even finished. I will never get back the hours of thought and two finger typing that it took to compose and frankly I don't feel like investing the time again right now, I will take it some how as an act of God and I will spend some time pondering what was missing...to have it go missing. perhaps I will revisit the theme later but for now I am moving on. I am sorry to present you with something incomplete but I liked the images that I found on the internet to illustrate this portion and was attached to sharing them with you. 

As a public service announcement I would strongly advise, from personal experience now on the matter, to make sure that the computer you are using is set to"safe search" before searching for images that may contain the word"blowing" in the search phrase. You may find it difficult to find what you are looking for.....unless that is what you are look for.

thanks for reading God Bless, Hare Krishna, and safe searching

Daily Darshan of Sri Avadhuta Nityananda Prabhu and Sri Krishna Chaitanya Mahaprabhu

Transcendental Gems

From time to time, it is my hope that something I write be valuable not merely indulgent or self serving. while the after-mentioned is undoubtedly present none the less wish to offer you this Transcendental Gem (with the usual extra verbiage,)

Today while working repainting damages on the mural, the all pervading hypnotic humming drone of machines, provoked the melodious vibrations of Srila Prabhupada chanting Bramha samhita, from my memory......yes i often hear Srila Prabhupada chanting in my mind...I say this not so much to be praised(though if you wish to i will not object strongely ) I actual share this as a recommendation, that if you listen regularly to Srila Prabhupada's kirtans and bhajans, you will continue to hear them though out you days..no need of an I pod any more or state of the art sound systems.

As I am quite fond to do, I sang along to these melodies so sweet a pure ,this is my message to you-hoo-hoo, oh don't worry doo-doo-doo-doo, not a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright....(wait that's a bob marley song.....see if bob can get stuck in my head why not Srila Prabhupada!)

 While chanting I noticed that I was enjoying the sweet sound of my own voice following that of my Masters in my mind. As wonderful the moment was, I was not so connected to the actual deep meaning of the song.

I started contemplating the words that Brahma (the creator of this universe) exclaimed in mature ecstasy.....Chintamani (a transcendental wish fulfilling gem) prakarasadamasu, Kalpavriksha (a wish fulfilling Tree) lakapriteshuru......my knowledge of sanskit is very limited but the two words I knew were Chintamani and Kalpavriksha, both of which are wish fulfilling fixtures of the spiritual world.

I didn't need much more knowledge that this to be hit with a beautiful realization, a revelation, small compared to Brahmas revelation but for little me I was satisfied.

Bramha ji discribes what has been revealed to him of the spiritual world, it being a land comprised of wish  fulfilling stone (cintamani) and desire trees(kalpavricksha)...now at this point, just consider if you were in a place that could fulfill all your desires , in real time as you are having them, what would you see around you that would reflect your desires?.....pretty weird stuff huh?...i am not even going to write down what I was imagining. And what did Brahma ji see?

He saw a lush and vibrant,self effulgent land with out any need of electricity, where everything is conscious, cows giving an endless supply of milk, irrigating the lush grasses with their abundant supply of milk...he saw Goddess of Fortune in the form of cowherd maidens engaged in loving service...He heard the masterful melodious tones of Krishna's flute playing..and how everything was oriented for the pleasure of the unlimited multifunctional transcendental senses of the Beautiful Blackish Boy Krishna ..the All attractive personality of Godhead who wears a string of forest flowers around his neck ornamented by jewels with a peacock feather adoring his head....every one even the grasses were actively engaged, happily in loving service mood...and from this nucleus in the spiritual sky every thing else is emanating ever expanding until we find ourselves write where we are right now in this little universe looking at our little computer screens.

This is what is so amazing so as to induce spiritual ecstasy from my Masters heart as he would sing this hymn, I got just a drop  for one slight moment of how wonderful this is, in a place where all desire can be fulfilled what is going on there, people are desiring to give pleasure to their beloved,, who is God , Krishna the all attractive......

The poet saint Narottam das thakur proclaims Golokera prema dhana hari nama sankirtana....that this transcendental realm , Gods own abode in the spiritual sky descends to this world in the Chanting of the Lords own Holy Names, it is recommended in this age to chant Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare to cleans the heart of misconception and uncover the senses to perceive God.

I have come across many things that promise less and cost much more, there by benefiting some one else.
This cost nothing and benefits everyone including me....now that's what I call a good deal!

From the time I was a lap child, enjoying being the object of my families affection attention and service, any thing i wanted all i had to do is make some demand and i would get a nice breast with milk or a toy or carried picked up and embraced, I was the center of everyone's life especially the goddess of fortune I called mom, then one day people had other priority or said you are a big boy now you can wipe your own butt. I felt cheated, neglected, and dishonored. i have spent nearly 30 years trying to regain my lost status of being the all in all the centre.....the gigabits of hard drive space it would take for me to record my failures in this attempt would be excessive.

As I hear how wonderful it is... how much joy they experience...to be a humble servant of the All Attractive Lord...I am drawn almost to accept defeat...to surrender..to have my willingness to give pleasure be independent of my desire to receive pleasure.....to like them be peaceful free from envy anger or lust...to express unconditional love, equal in happiness and distress..to be of service because that is who I am not because you paying me..to be fearless and to help others be fearless too..this is all waiting for me, for when I reawaken my love for You

Indian train Kirtan

a trashy photo

             "Serving a Republic that Wastes"

my lil' ham

her she is admiring a photo of herself posing with glasses on

my lil' lamb

I bought her this in San Francisco because it was very cold and she was too cute in it

Thinking about SEX (with photos and improved spelling and more better grammer)

I don't know what you were expecting when you click on this post, but it will probably be different then what you may have been fearing but were curious still to see. Or perhaps you could see past my "shock value" tactics.

i will try to keep it brief, and as always I will be keeping it in my briefs....moving right along...

I will be taking about my thoughts on sex leaving out as much of the back story as i can  and just get down to business.


Amidst a life time of dealing with, being born as a result of ,participating and avoiding to one degree or another... SEX. I have come to some operational conclusions, I say operational in that my life is a work in progress and as far as realized knowledge is concerned this reflects where I am at, while recognizing that there is much more to realize and apply.

the gradual cyrstalisation of thought has now becomed a little more polished if you will, by the abrasion of life and now shines crystal clear (i know poetic aint it)

new light has illuminated these thoughts during my recent travels to San Francisco thus they occupy my mind
 now and I feel compelled to dedicate it to writing.



when society seeks to gratify the senses independent of the full function of the senses and the outcome, the society is in a diseased state, when we eat with out concern for the nutritional value of what we eat, but simply for the independent pleasure of the tongue, ill health will result. On the positive side when we find that balance of nutrition, and taste ,even when we add the element of sacred ceremony and make as an offering of love to the divine source of our sustenance, how much better, the tongue is please the belly digests and assimilates thus the body is nourished and all parts of the body thrive and  perhaps even The Almighty is pleased as well.

perhaps this is a satisfactory exploration of the pros and cons

Similarly SEX  (all caps to provide a sense of magnitude) when engaged simply as an act for pleasure can be seen as a source of social dis-ease  making life more complicated or uncomfortable, Not only is unrestricted sex the source of many diseases now of great concern to the population of our planet, but the natural out come of sex , the miracle of bringing another being into the world, or pregnancy is treated with the same disdain and fear as getting an STD. Doesn't this seem off? the same act can bring life or death but both are treated the same way with the fear being a hinderence to enjoyment.

Spending a week with my baby niece Hladini Shakti devi dasi or affectionately known as Lali, really completed the relization for me.

she is so sweet, I felt so fortunate to have the opportunity to serve her, to feed her, to have her fall asleep in my arms, to comfort her with sweet melody's. the joy of sex compares nothing to this joy yet the two are some how linked by divine arrangement that the outcome of the profound pleasure of SEX is the proud responsibility of bringing life into the world ,of protecting and guiding this impressionable dependent being ,into a free standing individual and member of society at large.

From this point of view what good could we expect from having  sex separate from the sacred act of reproduction and instead have haphazardly children in the matter of cats and dogs .

the Hysteria around sex gets quickly satisfied when mature spiritual knowledge is cultivated, it looses the guilt and shame and moral punch and instead is understood as a conduit for divine love. The sex principle being  the means by which loving relationships of the absolute can be expressed. Since this is a public form I will not go into detail. to understand the Transcendental Sex Principle the great knowers guide us to first humbly submit at the feet of God as transcendental servants, free envy of the enjoyment of God, then one can understand.

The experience of sex is secondary to the relationship, the crude example I came to and shared with a friend in a regrettable but well intended chat message, is in the instance of porn.
As a child being introduce to the subject by the older kids of the spiritual community in which I was raised, primarily with judio-chistian right and wrong morality with a Hare Krishna makeover (shaved heads and saffron robes) as a newbie' to the whole thing, I was often bored with and confused as to the existence if the limp plot lines, I thought why bother when we really know it is just about the sex, my not entirely baked mind hadn't come to realize that the limp story was there because the sex alone wasn't satisfying enough....because it lacks relationship, (sometime perhaps I will also share my observations on Fashion and how it relates in this regards). It is all about relationship and the story that is told, why else would we blog?




I haven't joined a Christian Promise Group with Miley Sirus or the kids from Highschool Musical

but I am committed to honoring life and pleasure in the units that it comes in. I have been blessed with the message of Godhead in the form of Bhagavad Gita As It Is, from someone who walked the walk and talked the talk, who told it straight when every one else was saying if it feels good do it, follow your bliss, be here now....with out concern for the consequences.

for my part I would rather life a life of longing than a life of regret



so that's it folks (i threw in the bit about porn so that you didn't feel cheated)

Srila Prabhupada chants Hare Krishna. 1966

When I view this recording I see two levels operating, on one side (the response) they are all saturated in some kind of identity, trying to do it right, to by a hippie or a seeker or a mystic nature lover. they provide the visual which gives this a dated feel.

Then there is His Divine Grace AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada before he was know by such a tittle fully content to be known as Swami Ji sharing fully the same message he has recieved from his Guru the same message coming from Krishna Himself an eternal message of good will ever inviting to re-join Him in the spiritual realm. this Kindom of go is not a far off place but exists were ever God is glorified by devotees free from envy and self motivation.

The intensity with which Swami ji chants must seems to stem from a profound commitment to share this greatest gift irregardless of the qualifications of the participants, he chanted such whether an apparent audience was present , be cause the actual audience is his Guru and Krishna, it is activity done not as a performance but a stand alone act of devotion which the basis of which expanded into a world wide movement and following, many temple and land cars and money but non of this added to or took away from this powerful expression.

we have access to this gift and example if we wish to take it for our own lives and share it with others, in your home in the park on the radio or on the stage or the internet

The Daily Life I Miss

http://picasaweb.google.com/kuva108/SylvieSPhotos 
this is a link to a kirtan with snake charmers in Jaipur

A village where I am developing a retreat center in the foot hills of the Himalayas near kandya ashram where the historical Shakuntala after whom my sister was named was born.